Wake up. Eat breakfast. Drink coffee. Drive to Work. Work. Drive home. Watch TV. Sleep. Repeat.

This is the typical day for the average worker. And if we’re not careful, it can become all of our days. But why do most people end up in this loop? One reason is because they passively design their life. Instead of building their career around their life, they build their life around their career. They choose their career, then filling in the remaining time with their life, instead of the other way around.

I suggest the opposite; working backward from our lifestyle to find our career. This approach can change your life. It encourages you to take the reins of your life rather than being a spectator. Instead of living day by day, plan what you want your life to look like.

What’s Your Ideal Life?

The first step is inward. What’s your ideal life? Reflect. This way, we can plan for that life. We can ensure we intentionally craft our life instead of letting things happen by themselves.

Create a list of your wants and don’t wants in life.

• What excites you?
• What do you value?
• What interests you?
• What are your non-negotiables?
• How much time do you want to work?
• Do you want a family?
• How much time would you like to spend with them?
• Do you dislike working a 9-5?
• What type of work do you dislike?
• Do you want to commute?
• What bores you?

What’s Your Ideal Day?

Constructing your ideal life can be overwhelming. Take a step back and break down the problem. Instead of asking what your ideal life is, ask what your ideal day is. Then, create a schedule for that day. This will give you more actionable lifestyle goals to strive towards. And it will clarify what you truly want.

Here’s an example of my ideal day:

My day has planned time for the activities I value. I fill my health bucket by getting enough sleep and working out. I fill my work bucket by prioritizing deep work. And, I fill my relationship bucket by carving time for friends and family.

If you feel inclined, you can repeat this exercise for a week or a month.

Explore, Reflect, and Adjust

When we’re starting out, we likely won’t know what our ideal life or even day is. That’s okay! We just need to spend some time exploring.

Try different jobs and lifestyles. Go work in a corporate job. Travel, or take a job that involves traveling. Try living in different locations. Or start a company.

Simply put, do a lot of stuff. This will give you a framework of experience that you can pull from. You’ll have a stronger foundation to craft your life.

After spending some time in each new experience, reflect. Ask yourself, 

• What did I enjoy?
• What parts did I hate?
• What parts did I not care for?
• Did anything surprise me?

Then, go back to your list of wants and don’t wants, and your ideal day. Change both based on each new experience. Continue this process until you have a good idea of your ideal life.

One Step at a Time

Taking ownership of your life can be daunting. But remember, the regret of an unexamined life is worse than the pain of planning. Imagine if working the same 9-5 for the rest of your life. Would you want that? If not, we need to do some planning!

Start with one step. Brainstorm what lifestyles you want, don’t want, and want to try. Then create a schedule to clarify how you would implement those lifestyles. Finally, explore those lifestyles, reflect on the experience, and adjust your plan. That way, you’ll get a better sense of the life you want and how to get it.